刘超 | 三十三

2020.08

艺术家

刘超

三十三
三十三,这个具体又抽象的数字,是我的年龄。用这样一个数字作为展览的名字,以此来概括我现在进行时的状态。
三十几岁的人已不再是不管不顾的莽撞少年,认知的边界随着生活中的转变在不断地向外延展,这也给我的作品注入了新的养分。压力与野心并存的年纪,既要面对自我与理想的关系,也要面对生活中父、子、夫的角色,责任的增加让我对周遭事物更加敏感,观察与提炼拓宽了疑问的维度,廓清了作品内容的来源。
在近三四年的作品中,我将关注点投向了人自身的精神世界。女儿的出生让我有机会以在场的方式对人类认知形成的过程再次认识,同时对于三十三年来所形成的自我有了反思。生命初始,灵智未开,但明澈的眼睛蕴藏着巨大的精神力量,闪烁着对认知的渴望。随着成长,对自我和外在的认知逐渐建立,快乐和忧虑也相随而来,然而带着蓝图行走的人必然要克服胆怯和困难,这是每一个前行的生命都要面对的问题。想象中的世界要比现实中的场景更为广阔,对于未知渴望,让我们负重前行。立于宇宙,人无比地渺小,立于意念,人又不可思议地巨大。在单纯静谧的精神世界里,我们的思维像洪水一样泛滥,对未来的期盼漫无边际。然而彼岸的彼岸还有彼岸,终其一生寻觅的路,最终还是要通向从未离开的自我。那么当下的“我”由什么构成,自我认知从何建立,精神世界可否物化,肉身之外的人(自我)存在于何处,我是否已经站在儿时的彼岸,彼岸是否存在。
模糊的思绪和疑问随着三十三年来形成的认知渐渐在画面中投射,无论是画面中粗犷坚实的躯体还是空寂逶迤的图景,我都希望他们拥有真诚的情感、无畏的勇气和纯净的精神之力,这也是我对于现实中自己的理想期盼。
我是一个平淡无奇又严肃认真的人,年幼时顽皮,时常闯祸,为求学而年少离乡,父母牵挂,叮嘱平安,渐渐地也就因而养成了今天谨言慎行的性格,外在表象也拘谨羞怯。唯有在画布上,才可将内在的性情毫无顾忌地呈现出来。
就画面而言,表现的手段和内容的架构基于外界现实的刺激和主观情感之间的相互作用,内心现实与外部现实相互叠加。在生成的过程中,内与外需要反复映射,以达到自我标准中最大程度地合一,但这并不顺畅,作品最终的形成也并不轻松。画面的完成并不等于完整,完整也不等于完成。近几年我排斥预先设计画面的图式,而生成的过程又需要内与外的反复映衬,建立与否定在画面中反复轮换。所以我无法预测画面的结果,只是知道何为好的画面。但没人会告诉你“好的画面”在眼前这块布上是个什么样子,没人见过。画出于人手,该有人的手迹。人是活的,有情感、有反应。熟练的技巧会带来顺畅,波动的情绪也会让画面停滞,这些都是真实的,没有必要回避。
通过时间,画面上留下急切、欣喜、冲动、焦躁、挫败、犹豫、懊恼、忍耐以及重生的自信、涅槃的喜悦。这种画面富有能量、鲜活、有心跳。所以对我来说,绘画需要拨云见日,是一个寻找和达成的过程。偶尔顺畅是有的,但总是顺畅就会一闪而过,轻佻,不深刻。
这次的展览大多数作品都在两米以上,大尺寸的画面立于面前,体量与我平等或压制于我,它与我在过程中猛烈地搏斗,瞬间的胜利挑动我的心神,这种挑动就像在我的心尖上分离血管和肌肉,给予我一种精神层面的蜕变。建立和否定的过程使我保持清醒,不会因易控而自我陶醉,迷失在熟练的技巧之中,从而使画面变得平庸乏味。
在绘画中,或者说是对于艺术摸索的过程中,我认认真真剖开自己的内心,解读自己的思绪,追求着我所理解的对于生命这个概念方向,表达着我的态度。
Thirty-three
Thirty-three, such a detailed and abstracted number, is my age. I use this number as the name for the exhibition, to summarize my present stage.
For me, stepped into my 30s’, I am no more a reckless boy, the boundary of my perception is constantly expanding with the change in life which is also the source and nourishment for my art practice. Thirty-three is the age that contains both stress and ambition, which I have to find a balanced point between my dream and reality, between being a father, son and husband; the increasing responsibilities makes me more sensitive about the surroundings. Observation and refinement increase the depth of my perceptions and clarify the origin of my works and my practice.
In my recent years, I slowly shifted my attention towards our own mental and spiritual world. The birth of my daughter gave me the opportunity to look back into the process of human growth and development in person and at the same time, giving me an opportunity to reflect back onto my own identity. As a newborn, we are innocent and naïve, but in our crystal-clear eye hides such great power and potentials, shines the longing for knowledge, as we grow, the consciousness of our identity and surroundings become stronger which also brings us excitement and worries. However, those who walks with their dreams must face the timidity and difficulties, which are the problems that every one of us has to confront. The world that we are looking for is much broader than the world we living in so we are driven by the curiosity and moving forward. We are much smaller when standing in the universe but we will become incredibly big when standing on the idea. In pure spiritual world, our thought is like flood, and our expectation for the future is limitless. However, our journey never ends at a particular point and even if it does, it leads back to who we really are. Then I often ask myself: who I am and what am I made from? Where does my identity come from? Will the spiritual world finally be materialized at some point? Where is the “spiritual me”? am I already standing at my destination or does destination do exist?
Vague thoughts and doubts that being formed over my 33 years are gradually projected onto the canvas, whether it is the rough solid figures or the empty and winding landscape, I hope they have genuine emotion, fearless courage and pure spiritual power, which is also my ideal expectation for myself in reality.
I am a simple but serious person. When I was young, I was mischievous and made trouble all the time. I left home when I was young, my parents were worried about me and always told me to take a good care of myself. Gradually, I developed the character of being cautious and shy. Only on the canvas can the let my inner passion out and presented without hesitation.
For painting, the way how I use brush and colors are based on the interaction between external stimulation and subjective emotions, in the process of making art, my interior and exterior are reflecting onto each other in order to fuse those two section into a whole, but it is not easy for me to use this method as a way of approaching art. The visual completion doesn’t mean the painting is finished and a finished painted doesn’t mean that it is completed. I refuse to make manuscripts before actual painting and I would rather focus more on the process of making a painting. I can’t anticipate what the painting would end up to be but I roughly have an idea of what a good painting looks like, the tricky thing is that on one would tell you what is “good” or “bad”. Painting is made by us so it should contain the trace of our hands, our emotions and reaction. A good painting technique will make painting flow smoothly, and unstable emotion will also stagnate the painting visually, but those things happen all the time and we don’t need to avoid them.
Through time, the canvas starts to shows our anxious, joy, impulse, frustration, hesitation, our patience and confidence. Those are the paintings that are lively and vivid, so for me, painting is a way to unveil the fog and see through the cloud, it is a journey of seeking and achieving. It is reasonable for me to have a brief moment of smooth in the process of art making, however, it makes it unreliable and skittish to be easy all the time.
Most of the works in this exhibition are more than two meters in height. Paintings with large sizes gives me a sense of suppression which I have to wrestle with them, fight with them and the triumph of the battle gives me the spiritual transformation. The idea of my self-confirming and self-denying makes me sober so that I wont stuck into a self-indulging situation which make me lost and make the painting boring.
In my art practice, or in the process of exploring, I sincerely open my heart, interpret my own thoughts, heading onto the direction of my perception of life and express my altitude.

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